These story is short. Ended just too quick, as it was such a beautiful one.

May I delete my last message? I actually wanted to say: „That smiley face would have been happy to see you“. – Why didn´t I? Because she needed to be free. And me too.

Traveling Berlin with Tinder

Corona times does not allow to travel much or to party. That’s why I decided to join Tinder and use it to travel my own city. Let’s make the best out of bad times. India, Asia, Europe, USA. The Tinder world is huge. One goofy girl from the US hit me hard. The time with her was a rollercoaster. We were planning to get a face tattoo before we even met. She told me her biography on our first date but run away on the second. We decided to be friends the next two dates until I kissed her at the third trial. We had sex the subsequent date and split up two dates later. Roughly counted. Short story. As mentioned before.

Our dates were leading us along the river side of Neukölln, talking about our dreams. I was just about to reach one of mine (becoming a licensed therapist in Germany) and a magic box full of new dreams were about to arise. All of them including travel for sure. Working in a summer camp in California, getting a travel car and explore more of Europe with it, applying for registration as a psychologist in NZ. But before I could open this box, I had to restrain myself a lot. I missed out pretty much all of the summer. It was really depressing. And on top of that, my doctor told me that something was growing on my uterus that should not be there. Obviously, I needed some distraction. 

That girl from SF was my happy place during these challenging times. She made me having a pride in Corona times, where we kissed in the rain and spotted a rainbow. 

Btw pride in Berlin:  That is what you always have to do on a pride in Berlin: kissing in the rain. There’s surely no pride in Berlin without rain at the end –  so the sky can create its own rainbow.

She made me travel to Korea by taking me out for dinner and corrected my English so I could make some progress with it and even helped me to build donkey bridges to remember several atypical psychotics. Sleeping and kissing under the stars, which reminded me so much to the nights in Australian outback that these time, I had to run away. Having amazingly awesome sex. For some reason, I often struggle to truly be myself when having sex with someone else but not when I was with her. Haven’t felt like that for a long time. Still dreamt about it quite a while.

She’s living far away from here, just came for a visit. Traveling to another country to experience its culture better. I enjoyed very much traveling with that special human being. 

I invited her to try out new patterns with me. Did it work out? Probably not. 

Goofy girl from San Francisco. Thank you for the moments. 

A post i wrote month ago but did not want to publish due to its shortness. Since I recently recovered the “private” and “password secured” mode, I do not mind to put it up here. I am not sure wether these adventure did anything to her, but at least for me, I learned a lot about life, people, love and myself. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some people will test you, some will use you, some will bring out the best in you, but everyone will teach you something about yourself. Both positive and negative relationships teach you valuable lessons. I tended to fall for woman that were about to leave – again and again. It must have done anything to do with me, that is for sure. Maybe it helped me to keep a certain distance which I needed in order to feel free. Too scared to let anyone come too close to me. An easy way to protect myself from commitment. But for some reason, I learned my lesson now.

Commitment can be wonderful with the right person. Commitment has nothing to do with being imprisoned. The right one loves you in such a way that you feel free. You can open your wings and fly. No cage. You´d fly anywhere but at the end of the day you will fly into her arms. Because in her arms and deep inside her heart, you are feeling your home like a hay made nest.