I am going to be happy when…
Feeling scared of doing something on one side and being scared of not succeeding in what you dream about can be a very uncomfortable situation. No matter how often you reach your goal – you will not be there at the end. Once you reached the goal you dreamed about, you will not dream about it anymore. Instead, you will set a new goal to dream about. Does this make sense? It happened to all of us for so many times. Maybe you wanted to finish your studies, get a degree, these special job, a bigger flat, a car, a house. You got it. Satisfied you for a few days. Maybe a month. Did not fulfil you for long. You aim for the next goal: a great job, a wife, a car, a house. Or traveling. That is what goals are for: they lead us toward something. They are not good for sitting there and watching them.
Once you reached your goal, a new one comes up
For me, it was the dream of traveling and to learn English properly. I made it. Did not fulfil me. I was happy and proud about reaching my goal of learning new language and travel to the other side of the world. I enjoyed the trip. But once back home, all the other languages popped up in my head and all the other countries I haven´t seen yet. New goals, new dreams. What I just reached did not fulfil me. What about you? Which goal did you reach lately and did you set any other goal or are you happy now for the rest of your life?
A goal is a motivation not a place to be
Reaching a goal means experiencing the unknown and to outgrow yourself. All the work you put into the task of getting there did something with you. You faced your fear of failing, your fear of “not being good enough” and “not making it in time”. Is there anyone that was not scared of traveling solo for the first time? I beg not. And still, once people reached their goal of traveling alone, facing their fear and doing it anyways – they want more. One country is not enough. It is the same with chocolate. This is the human soul and the desire of moving forward. The satisfaction comes of what you did on the way towards to goal. It is not the piece of paper in your hands or the picture in your phone. The memories in your heart and the things you learned are the real treasure.
If just… then I will be happy
Do you know these kind of thoughts? The “if just.. .then I will be happy“-thoughts. A conclusion that puts to things together that do not have anything in common. A degree will not make someone happy. At the end, it is just a piece of paper. Did you ever reached a goal you worked hard for and instead of feeling proud and happy, a feeling of emptiness came up?If you do the same things again, do not wonder, when the same old things happen to you again. Running after a goal did not work out so well in the last years, huh?
Change your focus
Instead of focusing the goal, it is best to focus on the way. Changing the perspective. Free yourself of reaching any goal – there will soon be another one to run after anyways. No matter if the goal is to travel, to get a specific degree, job. The satisfaction of being there will not last for long. Soon, there will a new path open up to focus on. When focusing on the path instead of the goal at the end, there is no emptiness waiting for you anymore. An example? When all you care about is the summit, you might not enjoy the hike up. It will be “too hot” and “too exhausting” for you. You might even take a lift instead of doing it yourself. Once at the summit, you have a nice view, take a picture and step back into the lift to get down. When you climb up yourself, camp overnight in the mountains and onvercome your own weakness, you will outgrow yourself and once at the summit, you feel proud of every step you took. Years later, it will not be the view when you sat down at the summit, but the feeling of making it and the memories of climbing up, falling down, and getting back up again and again.
The path is the goal
We live in a world that tells us, that we can reach every goal, we want to reach. “You can make it”, “never give up”, “trust yourself”, “fight for it”, “when you can dream it, you can do it”. Wow. Doesn´t it sound like a bit of pressure? I mean, considering that after every goal you reached a new goal is popping up? Never give up sounds to me like being in pain. Not very inviting. Life should not be painful, hard and a never-ending-fight. Where is the joy in it? If you expect to be in a good mood once you reached your goal, you better be in a good mood on the way towards it. “The path is the goal” said Mahatma Gandhi and it sounds so easily. But in real, these is the true challenge. At the end, you would not put so much effort into your goal, if you did not know deep down, that you can make it. The question of the answer to satisfaction is not “will I make it?” but “what kind of person do I want to be on the way towards it?“
Focusing on your way will help you to be in peace with your inner-self, to go step by step and to connect with the present moment instead of worrying about a future you cannot predict anyways. Be mindful for the present moment. Take care of really being connected to the moment with eyes wide open. Do not neglect what is important to you now for a a future you can only imagine. Your goal can lead the way, can motivate you and light the way. But you only live in the present . For now and for ever.